Loss
by Bellethreal
Summary: Losing someone in your family is hard, even if you have a difficult relationship with them. (todobaku / bakutodo)


It was odd coming home to all the lights off. Usually, Todoroki had every goddamn light in the house turned on. It was also strange that Todoroki didn't greet him at the door. Bakugou wasn't worried since it didn't happen often and he sometimes got home before Todoroki did, so there was no need to worry. That is, until he noticed Todoroki's shoes by the door.

"Shouto?" Bakugou called, voice echoing back uncomfortably. Todoroki wasn't one for jump scare pranks, so Bakugou crossed that off his mental list. It wasn't his birthday, the AC was running so the electricity wasn't out, and it was early evening, so even Todoroki the Sleeping Beauty wouldn't be asleep at this time. It'd do him no good to stand there and play the guessing game, so Bakugou went to the bedroom. He glanced into other rooms as he went, but they were the same as the rest of the house—empty and dark. Part of Bakugou mused that maybe this was the start of a bad sexy romance story, but he highly doubted it.

When Bakugou entered the room, through the dim light he spotted Todoroki on the bed. He almost flipped on the light switch, but something made him pause.

"Shouto?"

No response.

He walked over to the bed. Todoroki was clearly awake, eyes open and a pillow clutched tightly to his chest. Bakugou gently shook his shoulder. "Hey," he softly said, finally getting a small sound in response. Todoroki let out a breath and squeezed his eyes shut. Bakugou's chest tightened. While everyone gave him a hard time about being loud and upfront about his emotions, Todoroki was the opposite. Over the years, though, he opened up almost immediately to Bakugou about his problems. If he wasn't speaking, Bakugou was worried something really bad happened.

Gently pulling the pillow from Todoroki's grasp, he leaned over to scoop Todoroki into his arms. It was a little difficult, but Bakugou got onto the bed and pulled Todoroki onto his lap. With Todoroki being a little taller, the position was slightly awkward, but Bakugou could deal with it. When Bakugou wrapped one arm around him, Todoroki shifted so his face was in the crook of Bakugou's neck and his hands lightly clung to Bakugou's shirt. He let out a soft sigh when Bakugou reached up to run his hand through his silky locks of hair.

For an unknown amount of time, they remained like that, not saying a word. Despite the calmness of it all, Bakugou could feel that Todoroki's heart was racing. He wished he could make everything better in an instant, but being with Todoroki really drove home the lesson "communication is key."

"What's up?" Bakugou finally asked, hating how loud he sounded. There were no other noises besides the soft hum of the AC and the two of them breathing.

As expected, no response.

"Well, I'll tell you about my day," Bakugou said softly. As Bakugou talked, he felt Todoroki relax slowly in his arms. It had honestly been a hard day, but he glossed over the more stressful parts. He saw no need to worry Todoroki over something that had already passed. He dragged it out for as long as he could before finally asking, "How was your day?"

Todoroki started to say something, but his voice cracked. Bakugou's arms instinctively tightened around him as his stomach dropped.

Another moment of silence.

"It's my dad," he whispered, finally managing to get the words out.

That couldn't be good. Even after Todoroki graduated and became a pro-hero, he never really reconciled with his father. Family events always had a tight air around them and the two were never more than simply polite to each other.

"What about him?" Despite the guy being old as hell, if he did anything to Todoroki, Bakugou would personally kick his ass. He had caused enough damage. He was a great hero, but he wasn't cut out for the family life. Even if Todoroki didn't hate him for it, Bakugou certainly did.

"He's dead."

Bakugou froze, hand stilling in Todoroki's hair.

"What happened to him?"

"He never did know when to quit." Todoroki's hands clenched onto Bakugou's shirt. "Took on a job too big for him at his age and…" his voice cracked again, "the injuries were too bad to recover from."

It was silent for a minute. "I got a call too, and they said he was in the hospital… but I was on a job and didn't think much of it." Todoroki sped up as he talked, starting to shake a little. "By the time I was done, he was gone." Todoroki lifted his head from Bakugou's shoulder and shifted so he could meet his eyes. Bakugou's stomach churned at the pained look in Todoroki's mismatched eyes. "Katsuki, I… I don't know what to feel." His eyes welled up, but the tears didn't fall.

God, what was Bakugou to say in a situation like this?

"How _do_ you feel?"

A few tears slipped out when Todoroki squeezed his eyes shut. "I don't know." He took in several deep breaths before trying to speak again. "I despise him for the way he treated my mom. At the same time I always respected him because, despite how he was at home, he was a great hero. I feel like if I'm sad he's dead, it's like I'm excusing his behavior, but if I'm not upset, it's wrong because in the end he's still my dad."

"If he wasn't your dad, would you miss him?"

"No… but he _is_ my dad, I just don't—" Todoroki let out a frustrated groan, his hands pulling at his hair.

Their childhoods were too different; Bakugou couldn't relate to Todoroki in the slightest, but god he hated seeing him like this. It wasn't often when Bakugou was the calm one, and he felt awful that this was how helpless Todoroki felt. Bakugou reached up and covered Todoroki's hands with his own. He pulled them from his hair before letting go. Cupping Todoroki's face, Bakugou gently pulled him closer until their foreheads touched.

"Shouto, I'm guessing you only found out a few hours ago. I'd be more concerned if you were completely fine. You don't have to have anything figured right now, or any time soon. Okay?"

Letting out a shaky breath, Todoroki closed his eyes and leaned into his touch. "Okay… thank you."

"No need to thank me." Bakugou tilted his head back so he could kiss Todoroki's forehead.

Todoroki finally broke and started to cry. Bakugou felt his own eyes sting as he wrapped his arms around Todoroki's back. He made gentle shushing sounds, helpless to do anything more.

They remained like that for several minutes, Todoroki's head on Bakugou's shoulder and Bakugou's hands slowly running up and down Todoroki's back. Eventually, Todoroki stopped crying, but didn't make a move to pull away for a few more minutes. Once he did move, he shifted himself back onto the bed. He laid down, holding up one arm expectantly. Bakugou crawled down next to him, back pressed against Todoroki's chest. Todoroki held Bakugou tightly against him.

"Thank you," Todoroki whispered again.

"I love you, Shouto," Bakugou murmured. He didn't say it enough. He knew he didn't, but even someone as stubborn as him knew that Todoroki needed to hear it, now more than ever.

Todoroki's grip tightened around him. "Love you too, Katsuki."

A/N: Heyo if you read this on AO3 before, swear to god I'm the same author. This was the very first tdbk fic I wrote, but I still love it 3 it was written before [REDACTED MANGA SPOILERS], but I still feel like it fits okay.


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